That was Nina's motto today after church. Speaking of church, today's sermon was nice; so much that I cried when the priest was saying the second reading. It was about how to find your religion after you've lost it, and the answer was to look at what you have around you. My answer was my family...my loving, crazy, unpredictable family. We had breakfast at Jimmy's. While there, Nina told me her story of how she had her doubts of her religion. She said that when she started having problems in her life, that's when she went back to her church, and she's been there for 20+ years now.

So, yeah...Nina always says that God has a plan for everything. Maybe that's why I'm going through all this crap. I need to get back into my true religion.

And maybe that's why Mr. Akers never emailed me back. He wants me to figure this out on my own.

And I gotta face it.

Today was excellent. Nina picked me, Ricky and Gammy up and we went to Chicano Park Day. Jerry was here too and he went along with Darla (Nina had brought her along). The whole day really lifted up my spirits today. Saw great performances and bought alot of stuff. Filmed a few bits of car clubs, a part of a mariachi performance, and got a few shots of booths and other things.

Tomorrow my family's going to Earth Fair at Balboa Park and I plan to get a few shots of that as well.

Tonight we're spending the night at Nina's house.

Emailed Mr. Akers a few minutes ago, hope I hear from him.

Life so sucks without Mom around here.

But I guess I hafta move on. Things are going badly for me in school. I'm ditching my English class and coming in late for my Chicano class, and I feel afraid of what Mr. Akers might say if I tell him EVERYTHING. Ugh.

But then, why should I be afraid of my own father figure?

I should email him tonight and just spill my guts out.

Anyway, I've finally got my MySpace up and running. Looks pretty to me. Also with my YouTube, I've gotten that up and set.

It's just that with all the filming I'm doing making shortfilms, things are busy for me, so I really don't have time to put things in order on my laptop, but I try.

But good thing is that I've gotten everything in order to make my own video tribute for my mother.

I hate that she's gone.

I just hope I can get my act together soon.

Where are you when I need you, Mr. Akers?